Ms Novocaine is a virtual writer on the Internet who drinks peppermint tea and wears pixelated (vs pixilated) knickers.

Apart from pretending she watches and reads smarty pants stuff, Ms Novocaine likes to discuss world affairs, film and television, writing, religion, health care and ethics like a real expert. She was brought up Catholic, gave up guilt for Lent, then threw Catholicism out with the bath water, because using grey water responsibly is so Now. Consequently, she is allowed to be sardonic about religion. In addition, she has been known to dabble in the arts because she likes the poetry of being called Ms Novocaine – Da Vinci.

Life is an adventure so when she’s not getting completely lost and bewildered in it she likes to backpack. Consequently she has stomped all over bits of the planet for the joy and curiosity of it and will continue stomping  anywhere else she damn well chooses in her expertly laced walking boots. She knows she’s contributing to global warming but she doesn’t live in a big house – yeah baby boomers, she’s talking to you. We’re all going to die, people! She knows because the Mayans didn’t have space on their stone tablets to report what happens after 2012. If only they’d had digital publishing we wouldn’t have to die. Make the most of the limited time you have left people! Remember the Y2K bug? It could be you that’s unprepared. If not just drink vodka, or in Ms Novocaine’s case Peppermint Tea and fortify your aura.

Ms Novocaine is a serial education pest. She has so many degrees it is a wonder she hasn’t been banned from learning institutions and told to seriously settle down and get an ongoing responsible job, to which she says, seriously, do ongoing jobs even exist anymore?  Why did you, baby boomer, get your job without any fricking degree, expect me to get degrees, a shitload of experience, and even then won’t give me a suitable job for it? Why do bosses employ you for your skills, then get narky and insecure if you actually use them? Why don’t they teach you how to brown-nose at university? And what’s with all this seriousness and formality – why can’t people have a sense of humour and wear jeans to work? In all fairness, if she’s going to shrivel up and die from boredom and disdain for authority Ms Novocaine would rather not do it in a prison cubicle.

It is Ms Novocaine’s goal in life to transcend all politicians, gods and real estate agents and become the go to deity when people’s shit gets out of hand. She can then laugh at with them about the absurdity of humanity, because seriously, it’s nothing to do with her. All she was doing was drinking Pepperming tea, reading a book or watching her favourite shows on DVD. It will be her deity given right to say, ‘don’t you people take responsibility for anything anymore?’


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